The Best Excuse
Yes I am the bozo that guys at the plant call in to if they are late or sick or any of the billion and one reasons they can't come in to work. After a while on the job, I thought I had heard every reason in the book with the exception of alien abduction or kidnapping until one particular bonehead called in with the most original excuse I have ever heard of. This excuse was so good that it might even be true since at most times this guy is not the sharpest knife in the drawer and this excuse required a good deal of thought.
He calls in at Three in the afternoon when he was due to start his shift at eight in the morning. He states that his alarm clock was broke so he attempted to stay up all night and so be ready to go to work at eight but he must have fallen asleep somewhere around five-thirty and just woke up. This caught me by total surprise and so for a few seconds I said nothing. When I regained my hold on the moment, I simply told him to go ahead and come in and finish out the rest of his shift.
This dim bulb had already received several warnings about being late but I had to give him a free pass on this one. Number One it might have been true and number two if it wasn't true this would give me a benchmark for any excuse that I might receive in the future and dammitt so times originality should be rewarded.
Just a follow up he eventually lost his job. He simply ran out of original excuses.