Wednesday, March 07, 2007

In The Land Of No

In a land far away and a time long ago
Dwelt a cavegirl named Oola in the Land of No.
Her days were busy spent gathering seeds, nuts, and grasses
When her mate, Ug, came home from hunting, they were both tired off their asses.

Ug was always so tired that time spent mating was tight.
Leaving no room for Oola's delight
This made her feel lonely and all forlorn
But she was afraid to seek help fearing others scorn.

Yet one day her plight was noticed by Woonda, the medicine woman and High Priestess of the Great Cave Bear.
She spoke to Oola in a voice cracked with age, wisdom, and care.
Oola explained that her sex life was an out and out bore.
And could Woonda help her with her knowledge and lore.

With a gleam in her eyes, Woonda said that she had just the trick,
And from her medicine bag she pulled out a bone that had been rubbed slick.
She explained that when Oola had a spare minute or two, she should work the bone good
Just as she wished that her mate Ug would.

The next morning in her cave under the fires glow
Oola decided to give that bone a go.
She squelled and she moaned breaking out in a sweat
And knew that her bone she would never regret.

Every morning Oola made the time for a little bone play
And had a song in her heart and a smile on her face for the rest of the day.
But after a while the bone seemed quite tame
And the happiness it gave just wasn't the same.

One day while Oola was giving in to the bones temptation
She experienced a most delightful vibration.
A bee had flown into a hole in the bones marrow and was buzzing and shaking
Oola threw her legs in the air as her whole body was quaking.

So ladies remember Oola and give praise to her name
For a slicked up bone was never the same.
The very first vibe was Oola's greatest creation
Giving womankind the chance for good vibrations.


Keshi said...

**A bee had flown into a hole in the bones marrow and was buzzing and shaking

Is that what she used? lol I didnt get it. yeah me big blondsterness.


EZ said...

hey fuzz
yeah! feelin those Good Vibrations on the Beach

Ol' Lady said...

Many thanks to Oola...

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: That's an awfully big word.

ez: Gotta luv the waves.

ol lady: Yeppers.

LisaBinDaCity said...

I am without words ;-)

I simply marvel at your creativity!!!

April said...

why does this remind me of Clan of the Cave Bear??

TGIF, fuzz!

Paige Burns said...

I don't think "tasteless poetry" should be a tag! This had some good meat on the bone...

The Phoenix said...

Puts whole meaning to the term "quest for fire."

Catch said...

Lol... I love it! You sure got a way with words babe!

David Amulet said...

The whole time I was waiting to see what you'd rhyme with Oola--I suspected either "moolah" or "dipping into her pool-a."

-- david

Phats said...

ha nice poem you got here fuzz. Ug was pretty good name, but I am not sure anything tops oola!

David haha!

Big Pissy said...

That's some imagination you've got there, Fuzz! *LOL*

Green Eyes said...

God Bless OOla!!!!!! lol

:P fuzzbox said...

lisa: Thanks so much. I am glad that you have enjoyed these little poems. You always say the kindest things. I will always appreciate it.

april: I have always enjoyed The Earth Children Saga. Glad to see that you liked my twisted little homage. Thanks for showing up!!!

paige: Thanks, it's always nice to be appreciated for the meat.

phoenix: Nice!

catch: Glad that you liked it.

:P fuzzbox said...

david: Tricksy.

phats: Oohlala.

pissy: Thanks so much darlin'.

green eyes: Figgered you'd like this one.