Wednesday, March 07, 2007
In The Land Of No
In a land far away and a time long ago
Dwelt a cavegirl named Oola in the Land of No.
Her days were busy spent gathering seeds, nuts, and grasses
When her mate, Ug, came home from hunting, they were both tired off their asses.
Ug was always so tired that time spent mating was tight.
Leaving no room for Oola's delight
This made her feel lonely and all forlorn
But she was afraid to seek help fearing others scorn.
Yet one day her plight was noticed by Woonda, the medicine woman and High Priestess of the Great Cave Bear.
She spoke to Oola in a voice cracked with age, wisdom, and care.
Oola explained that her sex life was an out and out bore.
And could Woonda help her with her knowledge and lore.
With a gleam in her eyes, Woonda said that she had just the trick,
And from her medicine bag she pulled out a bone that had been rubbed slick.
She explained that when Oola had a spare minute or two, she should work the bone good
Just as she wished that her mate Ug would.
The next morning in her cave under the fires glow
Oola decided to give that bone a go.
She squelled and she moaned breaking out in a sweat
And knew that her bone she would never regret.
Every morning Oola made the time for a little bone play
And had a song in her heart and a smile on her face for the rest of the day.
But after a while the bone seemed quite tame
And the happiness it gave just wasn't the same.
One day while Oola was giving in to the bones temptation
She experienced a most delightful vibration.
A bee had flown into a hole in the bones marrow and was buzzing and shaking
Oola threw her legs in the air as her whole body was quaking.
So ladies remember Oola and give praise to her name
For a slicked up bone was never the same.
The very first vibe was Oola's greatest creation
Giving womankind the chance for good vibrations.