Buh-Bye

I am killing off Fuzz. I have been blogging as :P Fuzzbox since July 17, 2005. It has been a blast and I truly appreciate every single reader who has ever came here. I have seen bloggers come and I have seen bloggers go and it always saddens me when a good blogfriend leaves. For a long time, I have had a multiple blogger personality. For these, I have had different blogs. At one time, I wrote for five different blogs on a regular basis. Maybe that is why I burned out and took a hiatus for three months.

I started one of my blogs after my brother, Big D, told me that Blugstuff had become fluff and that it had lost it's edge. After really looking at it through his perspective, I had to admit that he had a good point. I had become a blogwhore; worrying too much about what people would think rather than what I wanted to say. Although I could admit that I was a blogwhore, I was not prepared to stop being one here. At that time, I started another blog that was filled with venom, it was irreverent, dirty, and took no prisoners.

Since coming back from hiatus, it has become increasingly hard to find my voice here. But my voice on my other site, has grown exponentially. Therefore I am taking my act on the road, packing up my keyboard, and setting up shop at the other site. For those of you who do not know or haven't guessed my other site and want to keep on blogging with me, drop me an e-mail. I have to warn you that I am not so warm and fuzzy over there. Sure in the comment section, you will find that I am still the same old person that I always have been but the posts. Take my foulest most venom filled posts here and multiply it by ten and there you have at.

Until next time Blogosphere, Good Night, This is :P Fuzzbox signing out.

It's The Real Thing

Yesterday, I had my weekly indulgence of a real Coke. No I am not talking about Coca Cola Classic over Diet Coke, I am talking about a real honest to goodness Coke. I have always heard the rumor that the New Coke bullshit idea was just an attempt to pull the wool over peoples eyes thinking that the real Coca Cola was back. When the switch happened Coke was made with pure cane sugar. After the New Coke crap was shit canned, Coca Cola Classic came back sweetened with high fructose corn syrup. Like a lot of folks, I dropped my Pepsi can and came back to the close to real thing. But now I have found that Real Coke is still around. It's just a little harder to find and comes straight out of Mexico.

Pop the top on the 12 ounce glass bottle, and let the frost filter up the bottle and it is a trip back to the coke days of yesteryear. When a real Coke was the real thing. In all it's sugar rushed glory.

Pick Me The Winner

Like every sports nut, I do up my brackets every March for March Madness. And just like most sports nuts, every year my picks suck swamp water. This year, Phat's invited me to join his bracket contest. This time around something miraculous happened. No I sucked just as bad as most years, but luckily I sucked the least in the West bracket. So far I have only correctly picked 5 out of 8 but so far UCLA is still in it to win it.

So thanks Phat's for letting me play. In case anyone wants to know. My picks for the final four are still in it to win it. So I will predict out the final four. In the East, I don't see anyone knocking off North Carolina. In the Midwest, it's a toss up between Kansas and Georgetown. They both look damned good but I have to give Georgetown the edge. In the South, I have to go with Stanford although I will be rooting for Texas. In the West, UCLA just keeps on finding ways to win.

In the final four, I think North Carolina and UCLA will come out on top. And in a barn burner, UCLA will find a way to come out with a way to win the big dance.

For those not interested in basketball brackets I have stolen and listed a few reasons why basketball is possibly better than sex.

1. There is always a coach that can tell you the best time to take it to the hole.
2. You know you are done when the horn sounds
3. Being double teamed is common.
4. You always try to score in 24 seconds.
5. There's always someone with a towel to come up and wipe up the wet spots.

Jokes stolen here.

Mr. Clean

Here's a little tale of a man named John

A sexy motherscratcher with an apron on.

He dusted and polished and mopped up the floor

He washed the dishes did the wash and a whole lot more.

When asked why he did all these housekeeping chores,

His reply was simply, 'He shoots and he scores.

When the little woman sees what I've done all the day,

Then at night is when it's my turn to play.

When I give it all that I have

She even will dress as a schoolgirl gone bad.

For my inspiration, click here.

Now It's Really 'Ladies' Night

Leave it to the Russians. Now they have created a vodka just for the ladies. It comes in lime, vanilla, almond, and straight up for cocktails. If ever they decide to go for the American market, they will have a tough time choosing a spokeswoman. Who to pick? There are just too many choices. I am sure that Paris, Lindsey, Britney, Tara, or any number of young drunken celebrities would work wonders for the new vodka brand. I would just advise the company not to use their mug shots for advertising.

And while the 'Ladies' brand is upscale perhaps they can market a cheaper brand. I think that 'Drunken Slut' pure grain alcohol would be a top seller.

For the Yahoo News story, click here.

The Burning Question in Politics Today

With all the hullabaloo over sex and politics regarding the Crime busting governor of New York, I have only one question. Is she to be referred to as Spitzer's Spitter or Spitzer's swallower? Because if the taxpayers money was spent on a high class ho, I really hope she swallowed. It pisses me off when taxpayer money is wasted.

Oatmeal's Just Not Worth It

I caught a tip on The Food Network for oatmeal lovers on the go. Alton Brown showed how to make a good batch of oatmeal while staying in a hotel. He explained how the complimentary coffee pot in hotel rooms made for a perfect oatmeal cooking contraption. First dump your instant oatmeal packet in the coffee pot along with a packet of honey and a tub of jelly. then stick an herbal tea bag in the basket, add water, and crank it up.

First, I am thinking, 'You lazy fuck. Put on some damn pants and head downstairs for the complimentary Continental Breakfast. Eat some fucking doughnuts or if you have to be a health nut, eat a bowl of Cheerio's and shut the fuck up' Next, I am thinking that if you fucked up the coffeepot by making some damned oatmeal, you are going to piss the maid off in a bad way.

I can picture her going to clean up the room and spotting the crusted up oatmeal pot. 'Damn that sum beech, I have to clean up his spunked on Kleenex and now he leaves me thees shit. I will gut that pindaho like a feesh.'

The front manager would then have to go talk to Alton and inform him that he should leave the hotel immediately. They have let Consuela off for the rest of the day but if she returns things could get hairy.

I wouldn't blame them for kicking him out. Anyone who would rather screw up a coffeepot, than eat a free doughnut deserves to sleep in his car.

When The Past Bites You In The Ass

Sometimes I wonder if my life would make for a strange Cinemax soft core porn movie. Today I found out that a woman that I talk to on the telephone on a regular basis at work, I have known in the past. Actually we had what might be construed as a relationship, if only a mostly meaningless purely sexual relationship.

It's not that strange that I did not recognize her on the phone. After all it was some twenty years ago, she now goes by her married name and I knew her before she got married. I only had her voice to go by and there isn't much call for moaning on a business call unless the business is a phone sex line.

Leave Me In The Freakin' Dark

While flipping through the channels, I came across a movie that I will never watch. I don't know what it is about and I do not wish to know. The title is so good that the movie could never live up to the title. I made that mistake with the television program, 'Wife Swap.' Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. No, I will keep the movie, 'Hot Fuzz', just playing in my head, blissfully in the dark as to the actual movie.

The Moment Of Truth

I have been watching that freak show of a reality tv/game show, 'The Moment Of Truth.' Word to the wise to the contestants on this show, the moment of truth was when your dumb ass decided to appear on the show.

Anyone who would willingly subject themselves to a lie detector test and then sit in front of their boss, spouse, friends, family, a live studio audience, and the viewing public and answer questions about their fidelity, honesty, and work ethic is a blithering idiot. No matter how angelic a person thinks they are, I can guarenfuckintee that there is a question that could be asked that if answered truthfully will get your ass fired, divorced, kicked out of the will, or get your ass whupped.

If I ever decide that I need a good flogging I will either buy Angry Joyce a whip or buy a hooker specializing in bondage and discipline, I can without a single doubt state that you will never catch me on 'The Moment of Truth.'

Top Ten Things To Do On The Computer During Blog Hiatus

10. Spider Solitaire

9. Texas Hold 'Em Poker

8. Weather Forecasts

7. Post snide remarks on American Idol fan sites.

6. Voting for Maxim's Hometown Hotties.

5. Checking actual news sites.

4. Checking for new recipes.

3. Did I already say Spider Solitaire?

2. Classifying MP3's by amount of chest hair and breast size.

1. Porno Baby Hardcore Free Porno.

A Sleepy Little Post

I love the way tv ads quietly slip in side effect information. On the Ambian CR ad, they nonchalantly tell of the side effect of possible amnesia. I have heard of sleeping like a rock but this shit is ridiculous. I can just picture waking up after a good Ambian induced sleep, turning over to my wife, and saying, ' Excuse me ma'am, I really don't know where I am or who you are, but could you please answer a simple question? Where the fuck is the bathroom?'